Author: Darkstalker90

Book Review: See You Later (Christopher Pike, 1990)

Author: Christopher Pike
First Published: 1990 (Archway Paperbacks)
Reviewed/Pictured Copy: 1992 (Hodder & Stoughton Ltd)
Cover Illustration: Nicholas Forder
Pages: 162 (excluding preview of Chain Letter)

Love and hate are beyond time…

“Mark’s passion is video games, until he meets the girl of his dreams. And now his friend Kara wants to play cupid…

But Kara’s concern is becoming an obsession. She’s out of control, and nobody can stop her!

But Mark has to trust her. His life is in her hands…”

The first thing I feel obligated to point out about See You Later is that the above blurb for the book is damned misleading. It implies that this Kara is a crazy lunatic, or perhaps the villain of the book. The latter is certainly not true. The former? Well, she is a bit out there and does do some nutty stuff but it’s all the interests of Mark so that’s okay, right?

But first, as always…

Mark Forum is just your typical shy and socially awkward, average-looking eighteen year-old guy; a senior awaiting graduation. And yet, there are two crucial things about Mark that you need to know. First of all, he has a congenial heart affliction – a defective aorta valve to be precise – that causes him to lose his breath very easily. He also suffers with chest pains and a general lack of physical stamina as result of this illness. Secondly, Mark has made a modest success by writing computer games. He’s not in the big leagues by any stretch – living in a small apartment and driving (in his own words) a twice-rebuilt Toyota – but, hey, it’s something.

If you think that a geeky teenager-cum-young man living in LA and writing computer games with names like The Starlight Crystal for old keyboard prompt-driven personal computers couldn’t get any more late 80’s/early 90’s then you’d be absolutely correct! The turn-of-the-decade vibes continue to leak out of See You Later as Mark meets the love of his life in…the record store! The place to buy the hot music medium of compact discs (remember those?) and, fittingly, computer games from the…

“‘Do you have a software department?’ I asked”

I don’t know about anybody else but I would NOT expect to get a girl’s number after asking her so formally for the “Software Department”. But, hey, this is a more innocent time period in a young adult sci-fi novel so we’ll let that slide. Also, let me back up a sec. You see, it’s at the store that Mark meets Becky…

“She worked in a record store five miles from my house. I had been in the store a few times before but had never seen her. I love music. I had a compact disc player I had to scrape to buy and two hundred CDs that made the plastic on my credit card peel on both sides. But I wasn’t worried. I felt I could work my way out of any debt. In private I had tremendous self-confidence. The problem was outside my bedroom. There I was shy and awkward. When I opened the door to the record store and she spoke to me, I didn’t know what to say.

‘Hi,’ she said. ‘How are you?’

‘What?’ I asked. She was cute. I noticed that right away. But my heart didn’t skip in my chest at the sight of her, even though I had been born with a congenial heart defect that caused my pulse to dance at the slightest provocation. It was not love at first sight. But I like to imagine that something did pass between us in that first moment, that destiny was at work. She continued to smile at me. Her teeth were white and straight, he eyes big and brown.

… Her long dark hair possessed a remarkable shine. Her name tag read, ‘Becky’.”

Now I can’t resist going onto a brief tangent at this point and wondering how much of Pike’s own experiences and tastes the author includes in his books. After all, this was the third of his novels I’d read in succession where a male protagonist is desperately in love with a gorgeous brunette, with two out of the three female fancies having large, dark eyes. Oh, and there is a recurring theme of the main characters struggling to get with these girls for being either geeks, intellects, or simply not the high school jocks. I’m not judging here you understand. A man is entitled to his tastes after all. I just thought the pattern was worth pointing out.

Back to the book though, Mark summons up all of his available courage on a subsequent visit to the record store and asks Becky for an ice-cream ‘date’, dropping a little bit of wordly advice to the reader at the same time.

“I knew she was putting me off, but I persisted anyway. I’m not a pushy guy normally, and I wasn’t that upset, I just figured I might as well give it my best shot. I didn’t want to end up like my dog. He had always been afraid to take a chance with his life, except when it came to crossing streets.”

She eventually accepts and they both have a great time. Seizing the opportunity, and trying to capitalise on his current confidence streak, Mark asks Becky out for a proper date. Unfortunately for Mark, it’s at this point that she reveals that she already has a boyfriend. Although massively deflated on the inside, Mark takes the news (and the rejection) with grace, parting with Becky on excellent terms. But he follows this up by making the mistake that many guys make after being turned down: he continues to visit the record store multiple times a week to see her. In a non-stalker way of course but still, it isn’t a course of action I would personally advise if you want to get over unrequited attraction.

It’s during one of these visits to the store, several months later, that Mark meets the mysterious Vincent, who has apparently been looking for him. Like Mark, Vincent writes computer games, and he wants Mark to take a look at his current project and lend him some advice. So Mark, throwing caution completely to the wind, follows this total stranger back to his home. Vincent, however, is no ordinary stranger. He drives a Ferarri Testarossa and lives in a beautiful house atop a hill overlooking the city of LA. Vincent is extremely hospitable to Mark and they spend some time looking at his work-in-progress computer game dubbed Decision. Mark is confused, frustrated, and fascinated in equal measure by Vincent’s consistently calm demeanour and his ostensibly illogical choices when it comes to his game. He doesn’t have much time to digest all of this however because Vincent’s girlfriend, Kara, returns home.

“Kara entered the room. I tried to stand, but I misplaced my legs when I saw how pretty she was. Like Vincent, she was blonde and blue-eyed, but there the similarity ended. Vincent was calm to the point of serenity, but Kara obviously was charged. At the sight of me, she went up on her bare toes and pressed her palms together in a soft clap. Her face radiated pleasure.

‘Is this the computer genius you told me you were trying to find?’ she asked Vincent, keeping her eyes on me. I’m ashamed to say that I forgot all about Becky at that moment. Kara’s hair fell past her waist – a mass of tiny golden curls that clung to her like a warm embrace. Her mouth was wide. As she smiled, her red lips parted, revealing perfect white teeth. She seemed so delighted to see me, a complete stranger, that I didn’t know how to react.”

Mark immediately hits it off with Vincent and Kara and it’s here that you would begin to suspect that something isn’t right. After all, it’s a little bit odd to meet somebody in a record store, go back to their house, meet their missus, and to become BFFs in an instant. Yet this is how it is for Mark after his evening with Vincent and Kara, and he quickly feels at ease with them.

But then Kara takes Mark aback with her extremely keen interest in his feelings for Becky. She asks him lots of questions and offers to help him get his girl, despite Mark’s protests that he has done what he can and at least salvaged a friendship with Becky. But Kara isn’t fazed. She tells him that it doesn’t matter if Becky already has a boyfriend and that she is convinced that Becky does actually like him.

“‘I want you to think about what I said’, she said.
‘About Becky?’
‘Yes.’
‘How could you possibly help me?’
‘I’m full of ideas. Do you want me to tell you some?’
‘No,’ I said. ‘Becky’s happy with who she’s got. I have no right to interfere.’
Kara looked down at me. She was no taller than Becky but she gave the impression of great stature. She didn’t have Vincent’s calm confidence, but she had something few girls her age possessed – a sense of mystery.
‘Are you sure?’ she asked.
‘That I shouldn’t interfere? Of course.’
‘No. That’s she’s happy. How do you know? Have you ever asked her?’
‘It’s none of my business,’ I said.
Kara leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. Her lips were warm, her breath cool and sweet like chocolate ice cream.
‘You’re wrong, Mark,’ she said.”

Now, I don’t want to reveal too much more or use many more quotes from the book from this point on or else it would just render reading it yourself obsolete. But, to summarise, Kara makes it her mission to help Mark and break up Becky and her boyfriend – Ray – after informing Mark that Ray is no good for her, and somewhat of a jerk…after carrying out some stalker-ish reconnaissance of her own. Mark protests in the spirit of upholding some sort of ethics and not wanting to hurt Becky but finds, when he has the perfect chance alone with her in the record store, that he is unable to bring himself to warn the object of his desires of the plan that Kara has concocted to ‘prove’ Ray’s infidelity so that he can be removed from the picture for Mark’s benefit. Kara’s plan succeeds perfectly, leaving Mark battling with conflicting feelings of deep guilt and elation.

“One glance at her and I knew immediately that Kara had carried out her plan with cold-blooded efficiency.
‘Hi,’ Becky said softly, glancing up from a box of compact discs she was shelving. There were circles under her eyes.”

With Ray eliminated, Mark and Becky go out on a date but it ends in disaster as Becky is still – naturally – upset over Ray. Worse is to follow when she finds out what has happened, despite Kara’s protestations to Mark that it should have been impossible for her meddling to have been uncovered.

This is all pretty much only the beginning. The rest of See You Later is all about Mark discovering the shocking truth about who Kara and Vincent are, and why it is so imperative for Kara that she gives Mark’s love life a huge prod in the direction of Becky. Up to this point, it is plainly obvious that there is something not normal about Vincent and Kara. How they have such a nice house and a pair of matching Ferrari Testarossas yet don’t seem to do anything for this wealth, for example. Or how Mark finds himself suddenly in the strongest of friendships with the pair in such a short space of time. And why Kara is so adamant that Mark and Becky get together and live happily ever after.

Again, I don’t wish to spoil too much but I will just say that the explanation is out there all right. As you may have guessed from this book’s title, tag-line, and cover art, time travel (and the resulting paradoxes) is at the core of everything, and I can definitely say that re-reading See You Later, and revisiting the characters’ early interactions and the things that they say, reveals a lot of foreshadowing if the book’s complete plot is still fresh in your mind.

Personally I found the ending a little unsatisfying which was disappointing after the rest of the book’s twists and turns had proven to be surprisingly gripping for a young adult novel (when I am far beyond that age bracket by now and versed in reading more complex fiction). The conclusion is bittersweet in a way, and you absolutely should not expect a happy ending where the hero gets the girl and rides off into to sunset but – even though this was a small part of why I didn’t enjoy the end – it was more to do with unanswered questions and inconsistencies that Mark himself mulls across the closing pages. When even the book itself seems unable to fully corroborate the story Kara tells Mark, you know there isn’t much hope for a fully satisfying finale, especially when the protagonist doesn’t even get to brush the mystery off and enjoy a good ending.

All of that said I still enjoyed See You Later, and was pleasantly surprised at how a book like this – well below my reading age – still kept me captivated to the point that I was always eager to read the next few chapters and find out what happened next. That’s always the mark of a good story, regardless of what age bracket the book is actually intended for. I think my teenage self would have loved it even more but, alas, this was one Christopher Pike book that I missed back then. Thankfully I’ve made up for lost time now. Awful pun totally intended.

(And, yes, somebody DOES actually say “see you later” somewhere in the book…)

I’m back (I think)

It’s funny how history repeats itself.

Last year, I neglected this blog big-style due to a mix of laziness and real-life issues. Also last year, I forgot to switch off the auto-renew on my WordPress plan. Guess what’s happened again in 2022?

That’s right.

So it seems I need to get my money’s worth out of another year’s subscription. Obviously I thought the same last year and, well, I know how that turned out.

So, in short, I do intend to start posting again, but I will not at all blame anybody who is thinking, “yeah, right!”

Guess I need to prove everybody (myself, most of all!) wrong.

Grand Theft Auto: Non-Definitive Edition

If you have any interest in videogames, then it is highly unlikely that you haven’t been touched by the scorching winds of the firestorm raging around the release of Grand Theft Auto: The Trilogy – The Definitive Edition. At the very least, you will have noticed the plumes of acrid smoke on the horizon as customers swamp Rockstar with refund demands via social media, for a product that has disappointed and shocked the GTA fanbase with it’s shoddiness. Now, I’m not here to tell you that videogame drama is actually something important in life, but this is a pretty big deal within the hobby.

Grand Theft Auto III, for example, was a landmark, ground-breaking title that wrote the blueprint for the modern sandbox/playground style of game – a blueprint that has been photocopied to absolute death and continues to spend a lot of time on said metaphorical copier. It was a game that defined a generation and could genuinely be considered ‘important’ for the evolution of the medium. The follow-up, Vice City, was more of the same but remains more popular due to it being a love-letter to the 1980s. The final game to be cursed treated to a 2021 remaster was San Andreas – perhaps not as nostalgic as III and Vice City for many but still wildly popular for it’s staggering scope, memorable characters, and the way the Playstation 2 literally struggled to handle Rockstar’s ambition at times. The point is that, regardless of your favourite, these were all huge, triple-A titles that transcended into cultural icons and, as such, there has always been a powerful affection for these games and the experiences that our younger selves had when pouring hours into these virtual worlds.

You would, therefore, expect these games to be handled with the utmost care and reverence when polishing them up for the year 2021. They have a status to respect, and millions of fans worldwide who WILL pick up on the most minute of inconsistencies and problems. So I guess that’s why Rockstar outsourced the remasters to somebody else (Grove Street Games), said, “fuck it” to quality control, and punted out this absolutely sloppy effort. Obviously, they knew that gamers would pre-order and pre-load this release regardless of the lack of info because, let’s face it, you could obtain a steaming, freshly-birthed dog turd from your nearest alleyway, carve the GTA logo into it, and sell it to pretty much anybody. The whole thing is so cynical and so representative of the lazy, cash-grabbing, prideless attitudes infesting Western videogame development and publishing that it genuinely puts me off gaming as a whole.

Continue reading “Grand Theft Auto: Non-Definitive Edition” →

Thoughts on the Afghanistan Situation

I won’t drag this post out because I’m not any sort of military or political expert that is qualified to go in-depth on such matters.

Also, I may put out a controversial viewpoint or two, but that is in keeping with the no-pulled-punches tone of this lil’ blog.

So, unless you’ve been hiding under a rock (actually a LOT more likely in this age of isolation), you will have seen/heard that the Taliban have re-taken control of the country of Afghanistan in a ridiculously short space of time with no real opposition or fighting. This happens immediately after the withdrawal of the last of the US/British military presence in the region, twenty years after they first went in to push out the likes of the Taliban and Al Qaeda and to create a safer environment that wasn’t a breeding ground for terrorist organisations that could use Afghanistan as a base to launch international attacks.

The news media is riding a wave of shock this morning, as people try to come to terms with just how rapid this takeover was. Various defence officials have been interviewed and the finger-pointing has already began, with interviewers demanding to know if this is a failure for the US and British governments, and what they are going to do about it.

Well, here comes my first controversial opinion because I say we do nothing about this at all. Our governments and armed forces should never have gotten involved with Afghanistan in the first place for multiple reasons. Firstly, the West shouldn’t be interfering with other countries and overthrowing their governments to install others who are deemed to be more agreeable or cooperative. I wonder when those in power will realise that maybe the reason we experience so many terrorist attacks and hatred directed towards us is because we waltzed into their backyards in the first place and presumed to tell them what to do. Pretty sure that wouldn’t go down so well if the roles were to be reversed, would it? But perhaps our more advanced nations and more technologically-capable military forces give leaders a superiority complex whereby they feel justified in meddling in the affairs of far-off countries while it absolutely would not be permitted the other way round…

Don’t get me wrong, I know that the likes of Al Qaeda will still launch attacks at Western cities regardless but there has to be ways (in this age of advanced surveillance/intelligence) of combatting terrorism without destabilising entire countries and committing our armed forced to decades of security detail.

I often like to say that we, as a race, give ourselves far too much credit when it comes to intelligence and learning from mistakes. History is littered with the failures of supposedly superior, better-resourced nations when they go to war, in a country like Afghanistan, against guerrilla fighters who know the terrain and are prepared to die for their independence. The Soviets failed in Afghanistan. The US famously failed in Vietnam (another war that involved meddling in foreign politics and installing new leaders). And – more recently – we have the Iraq fiasco, which resulted in the birth of ISIS and a series of horrific terrorist attacks on home soil, and more war in the Middle East. I’d like to believe that Afghanistan will finally teach us to mind our own business and stop trying to police the world, but I doubt it. I only have to look to Libya where our Prime Minister at the time sent the RAF (along with other NATO forces) to bomb the country and assist in the overthrow of Colonel Gaddafi…before doing nothing else and allowing Libya to devolve into a lawless terrorist breeding ground.

Obviously, there are a lot of angry people who are upset at the current events in Afghanistan and the Western military withdrawal as they see all the military sacrifice, lost lives, and billions spent on investing into Afghan security as a collossal waste of time, as well as an affront to the lives of the loved ones who died in combat. I’m not going to dispute that as I have no right to comment on the losses of others or how they view what’s happening right now as a result.

But what I would say is that returning to Afghanistan and needlessly throwing away more lives in order to justify those already lost just doesn’t seem like the right thing to do. One of the worst things we can do is to push on with lost causes or commitments to lengthy, grindy wars just to save face and say that we didn’t give up. Sometimes, it’s better to know when to quit and walk away – not out of weakness, but out of intelligence. Some say that we should stay until the “job is done”. The job will never be done. The West will always be unwelcome occupiers, veiling political ambitions behind the guise of protecting civilians. They don’t want us there, and no amount of military training or investment on our part will ever create security forces that will fight with as much passion or conviction as the likes of the Taliban who will literally fight to the death for freedom as they see it. Getting involved with these countries is a commitment to stay forever, because a) the enemy simply bides their time and waits for the West to grow weary and leave and b) new governments and security forces grow reliant on the presence of Western troops and equipment. We already saw this happen in Iraq a few years ago when Iraqi security forces ran away from advancing ISIS forces – again, after years of training and investment from the West.

I absolutely don’t agree with the way that many Middle Eastern countries operate with backwards laws and outdated, barbaric attitudes towards women and homosexuality but we have to realise that these aren’t our countries, and it isn’t down to us to parachute into every part of the globe that persecutes these groups and overthrow governments left, right, and centre until the world conforms to our vision of how people should behave and what views they should hold. More to point, lets not act like we live in the Garden of Eden ourselves because Western society has a LOT of societal problems of its own, they’re just not as obvious and pressing as physical, military violence.

And don’t get me started on those screaming for troops to return to Afghanistan and take back the country, because I’m fairly confident that those shouting the loudest are keyboard warriors that wouldn’t want to go and do such a dangerous job themselves. They want others to go and put their lives at risk for the sake of their outrage and that’s utter bollocks as far as I’m concerned.

Those are just my thoughts. As I say, I’m no expert and could well be completely wrong, but I’ve always maintained that we shouldn’t be getting involved in the internal affairs of foreign countries. Fighting back against terrorist organisations that pose a direct and immediate threat to Western shores…yes, but we need to ensure that our actions don’t also involve destabilising entire regions, leaving power vaccuums behind, or committing our forces to decades of hanging on. We also need to stop presuming that we are right to walk into other peoples countries and start making changes, as it’s only us that seem to suffer for it in the long term.

New Car

Back in January, I reviewed my (then) current car: my Honda Civic Type-R. I also detailed the reasons that I would be swapping it for something else: corrosion, age of components, uncompromising ride, pain in the arse to do basic DIY jobs and so on. I concluded this post by stating that I was looking at the newer FK2 Type-R. However…

The FK2 musing came to nothing in the end. Partly because the cars hold their value so well which would have entailed some sort of finance repayments (which I really don’t want to have again after clearing it all on previous vehicles), and partly because I saw this as an oppurtunity to take a chance on something completely different…a car that I’ve gazed at longingly for several years now, and a car that I felt I should take the plunge with now while a) prices are right and b) it is still possible to run a fat-engined gas guzzler. So this is what I bought:

Now, you probably see these all the time on the roads, but this specific model was actually very hard for me to track down, especially in good condition. This is a 2007 BMW 530i M-Sport, and what that means is that this packs a big 3.0, naturally-aspirated straight/inline six petrol engine. For reference, there are LOADS of diesel models of this E60-gen 5-Series on the market (very well-specced I might add), and lots of “lesser” petrol models such as the 520, 523, and 525, but I specifically wanted this three-litre beastie and the 530i badge was surprisingly difficult to find here in the UK.

Essentially, this is the best model available underneath the (crazy) V10-equipped M5, and the 545i/550i V8 variants. Better still, the six-cylinder in the 530i is miles more reliable than any of those models, requiring only regular servicing and oil changes. In contrast, the V8’s can suffer with pricey valve stem seal issues, and the M5…well, you don’t buy a V10 supersaloon and expect it not to be an expensive, high-maintenance relationship.

The straight-six under the bonnet of this car is known to be one the best ever made, and it won a lot of awards too. It was also the end of an era as BMW began fitting turbos to their six-cylinder cars afterwards. Unfortunately, there was a massive push to get the public to buy diesel cars (a government promotion that has aged about as well as the Gollywog) when the E60 was on the market (2005-2010) which is why the majority of cars in the classifieds and trade ads are diesels, and why I had such a tough time finding a 530i. I also didn’t want to compromise and settle for something like a 520i so I persisted, searching for months until I finally landed on a car with history and low miles. The only compromise I had to make was the gearbox, as this is an auto – something that I’d previously considered sacrilege as a petrolhead. However, the auto ‘box is actually a positive for me, as I’ll explain in a bit.

But what originally drew me to this car, specifically an E60 with M-Sport aero kit, is how the car looks. It’s one of the biggest ironies of my life that the Chris Bangle styling of the E60 struck me as absolutely revolting when these cars first came out, taking over from the attractive E39 generation. Over the years though, my opinion has done a complete 180 and now I can’t get enough of how these cars (and other BMWs from the Bangle era such as the E85 Z4 and E63 6-Series) look. I’m forever looking back at mine in car parks from different angles. Take a look at the last few generations of 5-Series and you can see smart, but safe exterior styling that has evolved at a crawl between model generations. Never again has there been such a radical, sweeping change in aesthetic design as the Bangle era, and I don’t think we will see such a gamble by a car giant like BMW ever again.

In my opinion, it looks superb from all angles, especially with the M-Sport bumpers, skirts, and 19-inch “Spider” alloy wheels (the best-looking factory wheel option in my eyes, though the 18″ MV2s are also nice). The only thing dulling it’s impact is that there are still a lot of E60’s on the road! As more and more gradually shuffle off to the scrapheap, I think the E60 design will only continue to age well and turn more heads.

Inside, it’s all black leather with optional black headlining, and M-Sport steering wheel and sill plates. There is the infamous i-Drive system (which I’m not finding to be the headache that many BMW owners make out) and plenty of luxuries that I never had on the Type-R such as heated seats, parking radar, tinted mirrors, fully electric seats, DVD player, 6-CD changer etc. It hasn’t got all of the options unfortunately (there are so many that I doubt any E60 is specced exactly the same…), but that’s also less to go wrong, right?

The best of it is that waiting paid dividends, as this car has all the service stamps, Continental boots all round (with loads of tread left), and less than 70,000 miles – crazy for a fourteen year-old motor! There’s also evidence of a brand-new air-con condenser having being fitted which would have cost the previous owner a decent wedge. All of this set me back well under £10,000, even less after I’d traded the R.

I’m dead pleased with it and honestly still can’t believe that I have one of these. I’ve had a fair few strange looks in the work’s car park as I work a (to use the American term) blue-collar factory job so I guess it is odd to see somebody like me in an executive-spec BMW that overhangs the parking bay(s) by a considerable amount!

As for why I consider the automatic gearbox a plus point these days…well, that ties into another reason that I wanted shot of the Type-R: my intermittent back problems. On bad days, those Recaro seats and the rock-hard suspension setup really inflamed the issue, and long drives were just so unappealing with pressing the clutch in after sitting on a motorway at cruising speed for hours pulling on my lower back. Even though the 530i sits on 19″ wheels, the ride is infinitely kinder, and the seats are far more supportive with a lot more adjustment options. It’s no slouch for an auto anyway, and it shifts along incredibly quickly given the car’s size (no doubt helped by the ‘M’ setup). There’s also the option to flick the selector to the left and shift the gears manually too if I want.

So yeah…a completely different kind of car than the one I’d anticipated getting but, so far, I’m enjoying it. Naturally, any big, older luxury German car is a risk as far as potential issues and costs go, but these are still well-made machines with heaps more build quality than the Civic. Besides, sometimes you just have to take a risk and go for something, even if it might not end well down the line.

Loneliness: My Story

I’m not one for vomiting a personal sob story onto the internet but, fuck it, this is important to talk about.

It’s important for myself, and it’s important for anybody else going through the same shit. The truth is, I didn’t realise how important it was to discuss what is a growing social epidemic until I watched a video on Youtube with Karen Dolva – CEO and co-founder of the organisation No Isolation – talking at a Tedx event in 2017 about loneliness, and how it is more dangerous than most of us realise.

“Loneliness is not just a sad feeling that we need to get rid of because we want people to be slightly more happy. Loneliness is dangerous. People suffering from loneliness are in a constant fight or flight mode”

Karen Dolva

Some of the statistics that Dolva brings to the audience’s attention are shocking, and actually a little frightening to hear if you are a long-term sufferer of loneliness. The constant state of stress that your body is under (even if you don’t realise it) can lead to a 29% increase in the risk of developing heart disease (equivalent to smoking fifteen cigarettes every day), and a 32% increase in the odds of suffering a stroke. I don’t know the exact scientific reasons behind this, but I would presume that being in that fight-or-flight mode for so long, over a long period of years, places extra strain and wear-and-tear on a person’s heart, thus increasing these risks in the long term. According to Dolva, and the studies she quotes, loneliness is actually a larger contributer to heart disease than that big, bad monster of Western society that we know as obesity. Even more frightening, loneliness apparently doubles your chances of getting dementia.

Loneliness can also lead to depression. I know because I have been there, and I continue to go there on-and-off. I’ve had the thoughts of, “what is the point in going on?” and, “I just can’t do this anymore,” and I’m sure that I will have these thoughts again. Fortunately, I have not suffered to the same harsh degree that many others (who cannot function in society and go as far as to take their own lives) sadly do, and I somehow manage to find ways to pick myself up, but depression is still a serious problem that – ironically – is taken less seriously even as the focus on mental health increases. But why is this?

Continue reading “Loneliness: My Story” →

The £400 “Stop Smoking” Bribe…

…is really something else. It’s one of those news stories that popped up and blew my mind with how ridiculous it is. In what dimension does, “hey, how about being paid to stop a voluntary bad habit that YOU took up in the first place?” sound like a sane proposal?

But perhaps you require some context. This is, after all, a UK thing so chances are – if you reside elsewhere – you are currently reading this and thinking, “buh?”

So here it is: a piece of proposed guidance (not yet confirmed) from the National Health Service (NHS) is suggesting that pregnant women should be offered £400 worth of shopping vouchers as a bribe incentive to quit smoking, in the interests of their own health, and that of their unborn child.

Evidence shows that offering financial incentives to help pregnant women stop smoking is “both effective and cost effective”, the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) and Public Health England have said.

Research suggests that for every 1,000 pregnant women offered vouchers, 177 would stop smoking.

Their guidance, which is open to consultation, said studies have shown “voucher incentives were acceptable to many pregnant women and healthcare providers” and are already in use in some regions.

itv.com

Now, before you consider me a ranting idiot, I can of course see the positives in this. While I’m not a anti-smoking crusader myself (what a person chooses to do is their own business, and the consequences are theirs to own), I do think that it is good for a pregnant woman to kick the habit, and that it is also a good thing for them to stay on that wagon post-birthing in order for the sake of their child’s health, to avoid passive smoking, and so as not to encourage smoking when said child gets older. I’m not debating this, nor am I debating the positive intent behind this proposal.

But I am questioning why a pregnant woman needs to be bribed with shopping vouchers to stop smoking. In my mind, there’s something terribly fucked-up with society if a woman won’t quit the fags for the sake of their child, but they will try harder if there shopping vouchers at stake. I’m not trying to downplay the difficulty of quitting smoking, but this idea still implies that the allure of £400 to go shopping with is more appealing than protecting the health of your unborn child.

I just can’t wrap my head around it, and I’m genuinely baffled that anybody would need a stronger incentive to stop smoking than the fact that they have a new, precious life growing inside of them.

And, if we are to take a deeper dive into smoking in the first place, we will see that cigarettes and the act of smoking managed to become a social norm (a “cool” thing to do, even) decades ago, when tobacco advertising was fully permitted and at it’s most rampant. There were even dedicated marketing campaigns carefully constructed to bring more women into smoking and to therefore vastly increase the consumer base for tobacco products. Society fell hook, line, and sinker (as we do so often) for these advertisements, that are designed to make us feel inadequete and left behind socially unless we buy/do what we are being sold, and we are where we are today – with the act of smoking still deeply ingrained into everyday life. We were manipulated, hooked on nicotine, and bred into cash cows for the tobacco giants.

The point I’m trying to make is that this shopping voucher “solution” is simply curing one vice with another. Retail therapy and buying all of the unnecessary, unfulfilling shit that we don’t need (because are minds are still being artfully shaped and moulded by ad agencies) isn’t that far away from being encouraged to take up smoking. Admittedly, shopping poses no threat to your physical wellbeing (unless you get rammed by a trolley in a supermarket…), and can’t be considered a problem on the same level as smoking, but the irony of this incentive isn’t lost on me.

Back to the proposal though, you might be wondering how something like this can be monitored to prove that recipients of vouchers aren’t still smoking.

The experts said women should undergo biochemical tests to prove they have stopped smoking before receiving the vouchers.

itv.com

I guess that sounds good, right?

However they said that if testing is too difficult due to the Covid-19 pandemic, the vouchers should be given anyway.

itv.com

Look: I’m fully aware that I’m probably just blowing this out of proportion. Maybe I just REALLY wanted an excuse to add a new post to this blog after such a long period of inactivity. Perhaps this is just an inevitable reaction to actively avoiding the news for so long.

Regardless, I’ll close with a tl;dr: stop smoking because you WANT to stop. Stop smoking because you NEED to stop. Most importantly, stop smoking for the sake of your unborn child, NOT because there’s a fucking shopping voucher coming your way.

Quote of the Month: February 2021

“It isn’t about whether you can or can’t: it’s whether you do or don’t.”

Before I take a look at this month’s quote, I have a confession to make: this line is actually from a videogame. I want to point that out from the offset because, as a rule, I don’t like to take philosophical advice from videogames, especially anime-styled JRPGs which can be a bit wishy-washy and idealistic at the best of times. I’m also not a big fan of people who get all of their life advice and inspiration from fictional game characters, as I see such behaviour leading to a somewhat deluded way of living whereby a piece of fantasy becomes reality in some people’s minds, distracting them from real life.

All of that said, I liked this quote from Namco’s Tales of Xillia 2 enough to take it seriously as useful life advice…even if it was spoken by a chesty anime waifu.

And that’s because it really is a positive, take-action attitude that anybody can apply to their life.

And there’s no need to engage many brain cells and formulate your own interpretation of the quote either (this ain’t no Sun Tsu quotation). Essentially, this is about not getting hung up on whether you think you can or can’t achieve something, because that isn’t what’s important. What’s important is that you bloody well try in the first place. Maybe it’s a physical challenge, or an academic obstacle. It could be approaching that person you’re attracted to. Perhaps it’s that promotion at work or an interview for a new, better job. In all of these scenarios, it’s easier to simply give up and walk away without even trying – easier to make excuses and tell yourself that you surely can’t do it.

But how do we know without trying? Sometimes it’s down to a lack of belief in ourselves; other times it really is because it’s much easier and less strenuous to not try in the first place – to retreat to the safety of our comfort zone. In either case, we will never improve ourselves or get any closer to the life that we want, and our failure to act will, ironically, only fuel the poisonous convictions we reinforce in our minds about not being able to achieve things. Thus, a vicious cycle is born and the only way to break it is to take action and do something.

The thing is, we aren’t psychic: we can’t know the outcome of our actions and expeditions before we attempt something (otherwise we’d all be buying lottery tickets!). Sure, we can make probability-based predictions (using existing data or evidence) in certain situations, but most things are dependant on a) our willingness to put ourselves out there and try something in the first place, and b) how much we are prepared to work for something. It’s far better to take action and actually do something, than to live with regret and not know what could have happened if you’d tried.

I have big respect for people with failed businesses, for example. Because, while others are mocking and criticising the downfall of those who had a go, at least that person tried something new and invested themselves (as well as money and resources) into that business. And, as is often the case, those people standing on the fringes and passing judgment on the failed ventures of others have likely never tried to better themselves. Meanwhile, the owner of the failed business will have gained valuable experience, and the knowledge that they at least tried. After all, that person will have grown through trying, and have learnt new things, while their critics are stagnating and going nowhere.

The key word is “action”. A lot of people make the mistake of waiting for inspiration to strike in order to feel motivated enough to take action. This is an incorrect approach that will only lead to procrastination and a lack of action. In essence, you are waiting for something to change, or your life to improve, by doing the same thing(s) over and over. It is the very definition of madness. The correct approach is Action >> Inspiration >> Motivation.

And it doesn’t have to be something a momentous. If you are a writer and are suffering with writer’s block, for example, just tell yourself that you will write just the one paragraph. Chances are, that one paragraph will become two, then three and so on. It’s the taking action in the first place – and breaking of the cycle – that allows inspiration to strike, and the motivation to keep going to subsequently form. It calls to mind another quote that I often refer to:

“Do something – do anything.”

Momentum (or the snowball effect) is a powerful thing, but you can’t get any momentum going if you don’t get moving in the first place (think of a huge rock atop a slope that will certainly get moving once pushed over the edge: it won’t go anywhere without that initial action of being shoved). That’s where taking action comes in.

Will you fail? Possibly. Inevitably, even. We all fail at things throughout life but we learn from our failings and grow as a result. It’s quite possible that you can’t do something, or that things don’t work out, but those are bridges to cross and outcomes to deal with when – if – you reach them. What matters is that you take the advice of that big-boobed, unsuitably-garbed anime girl, and at least try in the first place.

Book Review: Mythology – 75th Anniversary Illustrated Edition (Edith Hamilton, 2017)

Year: 2017 // Format Reviewed: Hardcover (75th Anniversary Illustrated Edition) // Publisher: Black Dog & Leventhal // Pages: 371 // ISBN: 978-0-316-43852-0

Greek mythology is a subject that has always fascinated me. I think it began back in primary/junior school when we first covered ancient Greece in history. I was immediately captivated by tales of Gods and heroes, awe-inspiring architecture (such as the Parthenon), and the real-world history of the country. I didn’t actively pursue my interest in Greek mythology afterwards, but I have invariably gravitated towards any sort of entertainment media that uses Greek mythology or Greek history as its subject matter. The movie 300, for example, or the God of War videogames.

A few years ago, I thought that it was about time to get hold of a book that chronicled the Greek myths in a comprehensive fashion so that I could properly read about them all. Of all the books I looked at, it was Edith Hamilton’s Mythology that constantly came out on top as THE book to have. Me being me, however, I didn’t get around to ordering a copy. Fortunately, I received the 75th Anniversary Illustrated Edition as a gift for Christmas. Aside from being a very thoughtful present, from somebody that clearly knew me and listened, it was a fantastic book that I bumped up to the top of my reading pile (I must apologise to my re-read of 11.22.63 which was immediately put on hold…) and wasted no time getting stuck into.

Mythology is a very well-organised book. Hamilton transcribes the original works of the likes of Ovid and Hesiod into easily-readable stories that are more suited to the modern reader – work which still holds up today considering that Mythology was first published back in 1942. More importantly, each story is prefaced with an explanation as to which of the ancient poets originally told said tale, the variations in their writing styles, and which of the accounts is used as the basis for Hamilton’s version. This varies between stories, as explained in the prefaces, because one poet might be more reliable in one instance, but another may have gone into greater detail in another. Different ancient poets also added their own personal touches of bias or vulgarity, which is either noted by Hamilton or filtered out in order to maintain concise storytelling without unnecessary, excessive detail or the sensationalism of depravity. Hesiod’s style, for example, is described as sometimes being naive and childish, while Ovid was a cynic.

The book begins with an introduction to classical mythology, how it tied into the culture of the time, and the various writers/poets who are quoted throughout the book. Profiles of all the Greek gods follow, including “family” trees, and an explanation of how the Greek Gods and their names “convert” to their Roman counterparts i.e. Zeus = Jupiter, Aphrodite = Venus, Athena = Minerva and so on (an especially useful reference when some of the stories are only told by the Roman poets and thus the Roman names for the Gods are used).

From here on, the stories are grouped together into categories (Hamilton states that she avoided trying to unify all of these tales, preferring to keep them separate – an approach that makes sense): Stories Of Love Qnd Adventure; The Great Heroes Before The Trojan War; The Heroes Of The Trojan War; The Great Families Of Mythology; The Less Important Myths. A detailed contents at the outset of the book makes it easy to find any of the stories within each category should you wish to come back and revisit a specific one at a later date.

I really enjoyed journeying through Mythology. The reading was easier than I expected, but not at the expense of detail. I also learnt quite a lot including the origins of names and fables, and the truth about certain mythological figures who have – in some cases – been heavily stylised by various entertainment mediums over the years, or had their personalities subtly modified. For example, I had no idea that Jason (of the Argonauts) turned out to be such a tool in the years following his successful quest for the Golden Fleece!

The book itself is also of good, solid quality, presented in the hardcover format with a stylish dust cover and excellent interior illustrations by Jim Tierney that really shout “Ancient Greece”. One of my (very few) criticisms are that there just aren’t enough of these illustrations! I think about half as many again would have been spot-on.

My other criticism is that the final section on Norse Mythology is so tiny. Granted, I don’t know a whole lot about the Norse Gods aside from their names and their domain, but I’m sure that there has to be more than what is detailed here. As it is, the Norse mythology section feels like a tacked-on afterthought and little more than a flirtation with the subject. It has no direct relevance to the Greek and Roman branches of mythology, and its presence in this book feels further out-of-place given that its lack of synergy means that all other forms of ancient mythology may as well have been included since they are equally as irrelevant (though such a book would be obscenely huge!).

My Norse grumblings aside, Mythology is an essential book for your shelf if Greek mythology is your thing. It’s a comprehensive voyage through the exploits of mythical Gods and heroes. Other books may offer more imagery and dramatisation but Edith Hamilton’s work is a no-nonsense compendium that stays close and true to the original source material.